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09:32am 11/08/2009
mood: curious
looking at tattoo designs again this morning. Most bats and calla lillies. Perhaps i could combine the two? *shrug* Aaron found one a while back with a blue and purple bat (oriental style) with some sort of character in the middle, i think it was 'health'. I cant seem to find it now.

Still having a lot of problems deciding where i shout put one. i dont need full sleeves or anything but i keep trying to picture what it would look like on my shoulder, on my feet.. etc.
Yes i know the foot ones are supposed to be particularly painful.
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08:24am 04/08/2009
mood: cheerful
I havent used livejournal to post in a long while. been little updates on facebook.

Its been a busy weekend. I worked a full 8 hours on thursday, which made me very tired. Im not used to being on my feet all day long, I can easily do it, without any problem during the day, but when i get off the adrenaline of the day, i crash. I had dialysis on friday afternoon, during the treatment my bloodpressure went sky high, even after the nurse gave me the emergency drugs they keep at clinic for people with pressure as high as mine on treatment. What she didnt say when she woke me up to give me these drugs was that she was turning my goal off. it remained off for the rest of treatment, so we didnt even get a ful kilo off out of the 3 we were trying for. Which is agravating, but i understand her choice and i would have agreed with it. BUT! she should have told me she was turning it off when she did, not when i was about to walk out the door and go home for the weekend. had i been not all there, like most of the 100 year old patients at clinic are, i would have walked out heavy and not thought a thing about and probably ended up in the hospital with fluid on my lungs or something. But we did get a puff treatment scheduled and everything went okay for the puff, everything came off so no more problems.
I also worked on saturday morning, so saturday was hectic, getting from work to treatment on time. The computer systems also decided to take a dive on saturday at the store. we were forced to hand write everything and send runners out through the store to find prices and sale items. So everything took 15 times longer. we had a lot of angry customers, who decided to tell me it was my fault on their way out.
I worked sunday too. And apparently i had the 'magic touch' because almost every register i hopped on that day had some sort of problem. Register 1 needed to be rebooted after freezing mid-transaction. register 3 froze twice after a lady tried to run her credit card through and the machine wouldnt read the number, even after i punch them in. Register 4 started doing "article not found" (which is what happened on saturday, that caused the system to crash), when i started scanning items. Thankfully the system didnt crash again. I did start feeling real bad around my breaktime, but not bad enough to really go home, plus i can always use more hours. I just kind of felt really overheated with some occassional nausea, that would quickly pass. i got home and i took my blood pressure pills, by that time i could feel my bp was up. I tried to eat some of the apple aaron had cut up for me and it just wasnt working for me. So i just laid down on the couch and tried to nap. I woke up around 5 i think, rushed to the bathroom and puked. I felt better afterward, even if i was still very wiped out from the day. I didnt have that overheated feeling anymore and thats what i think it was. I just got too hot, unfortunately ive done that before and i should learn to keep a cold water bottle up there with me, even if i dont always drink it.
I worked monday and 5 minutes before we opened the store, the system crashes. I also got squished by our auto-doors. Somethings broken. If you approach them from the outside, like any customer would, the sensor sees you and it opens for you. But if you approach them like anyone trying to leave the store the sensor wont open for you. You can push them open a little ways and then the motors will take over and they'll open up, but its a hassle and it confuses the customers greatly. So im dragging all the sale shelves out onto the side walk and having to stop inbetween the two sets of doors to push them open. One shelf gets caught on the rug and im having trouble getting it free (im only 110 pounds) and im standing in the doorway and they start to shut on me. And there's a bit of power behind those things when they want to shut, i cursed a mean streak when they hit me. we have also changed the days we get trucks. its now monday rather than thursday, so there were tons of workers in the shop, they were just all in recieving unloading things, making it very hard to get any backup to the registers. I also did an abnormally large amount of returns yesterday. I was running ellen ragged between return calls and price changes cause the pcs hadnt been loaded yet.
And yesterday's treatment went as well as can be expected. We actually went below my dry weight, which is 49.0. I went down to 48.3. Im not entirely sure how i feel about that. It means that ive possibly been sitting way above my dry weight for quite some time now(BAD!!!), or that its a fluke. I didnt feel particularly whoozey or wobbly leaving treatment, so i think my dry weight may need to be adjusted. But even if i walk in clinic tomorrow and tell them that, its never that simple.

TODAY IS PATCH DAY! lots of new things to do when the servers come up. Like stalk rare-spawn raptors for new non-combat pets! YAY!

But first laundry folding.
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01:35pm 01/07/2009
mood: bored
I remember being on monday wensday friday dialysis shifts before, like when i was younger and in highschool. it was the only available shift for me. It helps to be on this shift, i get saturdays (if im not working) to myself, which means aaron and i can do more things together.

but i also remember why i hated this shift. I dont like coming home that late, i dont like being the last on to leave the clinic. What happens if i start having bleeding problems again? They'll be sending to the hospital every day. I particularly dislike the fat-toad woman Donna. Perhaps more than i disliked Miller and Ruth on the tuesday shifts. There's always a very rushed feeling on monday shifts. And of course the waiting for 3pm to roll the fuck around. Id rather get it over with and done. But i know that the first shift (of any day) is no good for me. I am useless after treatment, even if its been hours after that treatment. I could not have treatment at 6am and then go to work at 11. I wouldnt function properly.

So i guess im stuck waiting for 3pm to roll the fuck around.

Oh yeah and our new clinic director wants to do stupid things. *eyeroll*
09:44am 15/06/2009
mood: annoyed
So i get a call from Joanns this morning. Apparently one of the ladies i had helped on the phone yesterday came in today. First of all she had questions on the phone about dress forms. We were extremely busy in both departments when she called so i did the best i could to answer what she wanted to know from our add that i had on hand.

She wanted to know if the dress forms where on say tomorrow (monday, today, when she could make it in) And if she couldnt make it in, how long they would be on sale for.
she wanted to use a 50% off coupon (which we cant do with sale items) So then she wanted to know if there werent any on sale. The add did exclude the 'project runway' brand dress form.
I also gave her the price range of our dress forms. But as far as I know the actually dress form order booklet is at the cut counter and she didnt have a particular size in mind. So that is as far as i could go. And right now, i cant remember the price range in the Joann's add, cause i never get the add i sign up for.

Well she's giving Gabby a hard time today and tell her gabby that I quoted her a price oh 179.99 on the dress form that wasnt on sale so she could use her coupon. Which i said no such thing. Apparently this woman is relentless.

There was also a woman yesterday morning who had come in the store saturday and remembered she'd left her coupon at home, another one of the 50% off ones. She wanted to use it on the fabric, a full bolt 25yards of the stuff. but the lady at the cut counter told that yes, she could use her coupon on it tomorrow (sunday) if she came back with the coupon, the fabric would be on hold. And when i got there, yes it was on hold. but the fabric went on sale, since i new sale always starts on sunday. It used to be we could override the sale for a coupon, WE CAN NOT DO THAT ANYMORE. THERE IS NO WAY THE SYSTEM WILL LET US. So i told her this, and apologized, and told her, im sorry there is nothing i can do for you. And she gave me a piece of her mind for about 10 minutes about how horible a company we are.

Another incident occured a few weeks before that. A woman and her two daughters came up with some puffy paint, the kind that you decorate shirts with. I rang it up and it was on sale, so said "7.49 on sale, 8.10 altogether with tax" or something to that effect, the sale price might not exactly right. The all paused and said no, its on sale. I said, yes it is, for 7.49, it was 9.99. They jumped down my throat and told it was supposed to be 2.99. I took the item and proceeded to the aisle were the puff paints were to find out just what it was supposed to be priced. yes, we do have mistaked where some things are supposed to be on sale and forwhatever reason the computer just doesnt show them on sale, in which case we can override it to the sale price. So im looking in the puff paint aisle and i see the peg that these particular paints came from and indeed, there is a 2.99 price sticker on the peg. But looking around at the other pegs with other puff paints on them, those all 9.99. And they are the exact same product, just different colors of paint in the packages. So i inspect the 2.99 sticker further and see that the barcode number for the sticker and puff paints do not match whatsoever, and the description of the product on the stick is not 'puff paint'. So i grab the wrongly priced peg for proof and returned to my register were i explained to the woman, that while her puff paints are on sale, they are not 2.99. This price tag does not belong to this item. I can not let her have the puff paints for 2.99. I did this in a very nice voice, not in the least bit annoyed that i had to run halfway around the store to find this price for her. Her exact words to me were
"Do you expect me to compare these two little numbers? thats bullshit, you need to get your shit straight before you put it on your shelves." Then she stormed out.
(often times customer put things they dont want back in the wrong place, its just store staff that does it)
I kept thinking to myself. No maam i dont expect you to be precise and check all the numbers so that they match, thats what we have our computers for, and yes, they do make mistakes, in which case we will be happy to run and check it out for you, just like i had done. But we would like that our customer read the adds, read the signs in the store, and use as little common sence.

Sorry, ranting done.

I do really try to be pleasent at work, i know it must come off like im some horible bitch, deny people coupons and all.
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02:01pm 03/06/2009
mood: blah
Aaron and I went out to the movies last night. We saw Star Trek and Angels and Demons. Both were very good. The opening sequence in Star Trek made me cry.
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been a while, i know   
08:33am 05/05/2009
mood: depressed
So a while back aaron aqquired these sephora gift card things for me. total of 75 bucks. Ive been searching through sephora.com since then to find stuff i wanted.

There's tons of pretty make up that id love to get my hands on, but i cant seem to actually press the 'checkout' button. Ive put tons of things in my basket only to take them out again.

what would you buy?
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03:37pm 04/02/2009
mood: confused
So i havent posted in a very long time. but whatever.

This morning i had a very cracked out dream. There were two parts, but i dont remember the first part so much as it lead into the second part. I was in this tunnel and it kept getting smaller and smaller till i was forced to crawl along on my belly. There was a voice telling me i would have to survive this bull in the pen ahead, I need to reach the sides of the ring before he got to me. Like the old bugs bunny cartoons where he teased the bull. It was a lot less dramatic then im really making it sound, i wasnt scared of the actually situation until i got the end of the tunnel and across the ring i could see the bull. There was already a guy in the ring running around, so i figured id let the bull get distracted by him and id run the other way. But no, the bull focuses on me and i know he can see me. The first guy is running back and forth in the run, like the diamete of the ring, not trying to get out, just back and forth. The bull runs straight for the little tunnel im in and plows over the guy as he runs back and forth. Thankfully because of the bulls giant horns, he cant really fit into my tunnel, even though he still tries. I shimmy back a couple feet and im just staring at the bull as he stares back. The bull speaks to me, but its in my mind so all i get is this deep booming voice and images in my head. "I am your friend, you remember me. (words) i am the fire, wool and water" (images)

and then i woke up.

Work wasnt bad today, aside from the bloody nose during the last 30 minutes of treatment. i couldnt very well continue checking people out so i clocked out and went home. BobbiJo asked how i was gonna get home. I told her i was gonna grab another kleenex, shove it up my nose and pray i got home before it leaked everywhere.
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05:28am 29/12/2008
mood: awake
Christmas was good to aaron and myself. Aaron got a nice sweater/sweatshirt thing from my parents, very soft and very warm feeling. We got a couple cook books from my sister and 100 bucks to split between the two of us from my aunt. Though to be honest it looks like that all went towards my car's maintence. Oil change, car wash, full tank of gas etc. minor things that needed to be done for a long while now. I got a very pretty silver knot necklace, that im making an effort to wear. I have a lot of necklaces, but because im either at work or dialysis i generally dont think to wear much jewelry.
Aaron and i went out the saturday after christmas and did a little but of shopping for ourselves with the money my parents gave us (different from what my aunt gave us). i got a new pair of work pants and aaron did too. Then we went to lunch at the pasta pomodoro place by target and kohls. Then to kind of walk it off before i needed to go to dialysis we walked around the petsmart and bought our kitties a lazer pointer. They quite enjoy playing with it, including miss basuba. Though kogan has figured out what controls the red dot and keeps trying to go after your hand. I hope the lazer pointer will help tire him out before betime so aaron and i arent constantly having to discipline him during the night.

i worked the friday after christmas and i was surprisingly slow. but then i expect that most people would wait to try to make returns. i work today, 10 to 2 and i have dialysis at my regular time tomorrow. itll be nice to get back to a regular schedule, even though itll just be shot to hell again when new years comes. The clinic is again closed on a thursday so my schedule will be jumbled up. Ill have treatment later in the afternoon so if i need to i can work during the day.
04:01pm 10/12/2008
mood: frustrated
So aaron and i have problems with ants around winter, happened last year. We're used to it and i know they cant hurt me but i still hate them and find them disgusting. They get into out dishwasher, i dont know why, half the time they arent going after the food. They've gotten into the freezer.. once again i dont know why. And of course they died because of the cold. So i gave them a shot of the RAID before i left the house and hoped that would drive the majority of them away and of course kill the ones the poison actually hit.

The work. It wasnt as horibbly busy as it had been, but there were a lot of returns being made. Mainly people who had bought project items and then realized that they didnt have the time to do the project. And it was also senior discount day and since almost all of our customers are seniors, nearly everyone got a discount. Near the end of my shift there was this elderly woman, who had placed her walker in one of cart stalls while she shopped. Amazingly she came to my register and then proceded to tell me the life story of her grand-daughter and her husband. And so now ya'll get to hear it. She found this beautiful sheer butterfly fabric and was intended to make a dress. Her daughter told her that the granddaughter and her then boyfriend ran off and eloped, which was all well and fine with her, but neither of them apparently have a job. he's trying to get back into the military. (then she says the military isnt taking people) So she calls up her granddaughter(not in the store, part of the story) to tell her that she's going to have surgery in a couple weeks and will need some one to look after her at home afterward, so if they would like some place, free rent, minor food bills, to stay they were welcome at her home. She pauses and gets some stuff out of her cart and then she practically jumps across the counter and yells at me SHE SAID NO! then she goes back to her little old lady act and tells me how she and her sister found this wondering piece of amber one a recent shopping trip (she was buying seed beads and such now) and she was going to make her granddaughter a necklace.

I was supposed to be off at 230, but then it started to get hectic and i took the previously mentioned elderly woman at about 230. It didnt help that Lyndy kept not giving people their senior discounts and they kept pointing it out after she'd already totaled everything up. which then meant she needed to return and resell everything back to them, taking at least twice as long. So i got an extra 30 minutes today and as much as i could always use the extra money, staying any longer would require me to take a lunch and it was already past Lyndy's lunch time and karen was only supposed to be there for 3 hours today. Seriously? 3 hours? She glared at me when i left the store. There was also a woman who grabbed me (not really) and asked me if anyone was in framing. There was a sign saying Shane would be back in 30 minutes, i assume he was on lunch, but she got a call and she had kids to pick up from school. So i ran around the store trying to find shane, called over the walkies, but no one ever answers me on the damned things they're so useless. Not just anyone can work the framing department, people are specially trained, shane is one of them, i am not. I told her this and she just looked at me. So then i tried to find Ellen, who can sort of work the frame shop, she was in the back doing DUs and i finally got her over to the frame shop. As a manager she can sort of work it but either i got to leave at that point.

A couple weeks ago aaron and i got a card from his parents and aunt in Arizona with a safeway gift card. yay free money! So picked up cat food, as we needed it. Ant traps as we will undoubtedly need them, some rubber gloves for when i clean up the ant corpses. A couple of potatoes and a small steak.

Right now i just want to sit here and play some wow but i need to get started on that steak for aaron will be home soon.
10:07am 01/12/2008
mood: confused
I think they were having a motivation speaker for the walmart employees today.
07:38am 30/11/2008
mood: aggravated
So yesterday was my first free saturday in forever.

Dialysis was shut down thursday because of thanksgiving and we all got bumped back one day, which means they are open on sunday (today) for those of us who would normally go on saturday. Now there were some older folk who did not remember, or did not look at the little memo the receptionist gave each of use, that their time and day had been changed. Some of the regular friday folk came on friday and so the clinic had 4 extra patients. The closers were not happy about it obviously, but what can you do with senile old folks sometimes.
I was very tired friday and when i came home i ate dinner and then i just fell asleep on the couch watching star wars.

Back to saturday. I woke up and did a load of laundry, which made me need to wait for my pants to dry. I shouldnt have done that, i should have just thrown on any old thing and gotten my errands done early and without aaron. Not that i dont love him and i dont enjoy his company when i do my running arounds, just not today. i was in a very bad mood today. We tried to go to the mall, just to walk around and see the changes that had been made but there was no luck in finding a spot and i was only getting angrier. Mainly cause it was on my period and hadnt figured it out yet, secondly because i was hungry. I hadnt eaten since about 545 and was now 130. So we headed over to safeway for some groceries and to pick up a couple of perscriptions. but the pharmacy closes at 1 for an hour lunch, i got super cranky that i didnt realize what time it was before stopping the car to go into the store. so aaron said we would go home, we'd eat lunch and then he'd go back out later to pick up my drugs for me.
once im out doing my errands, i dont like having to stop in the middle of everything and get back out. Id rather do everything in one swoop so when i get home i can rest. but then aaron started cleaning out the storage unit we have out stuff in (its now all inside) and i ended up going back out to pick up my drugs and various food items.

Except i forgot mozerella cheese for homemade pizza. So made a quick stop at trader joes for it and as i was leaving the lot a black cadillac came tearing across the empty spots in the lot, you know, just cutting across them in order to get to the stop sign that i was going to. She did see me and before i knew it she was within inches of hitting me before she stopped. Then she shakes her head at me as if i was at fault.

While at the store id gotten a bag of chocolate chip cookies and a small thing of neopalitin ice cream, it helped later.

I am still kind of in a bad mood. Knowing i have to work and then right over to treatment again just makes me feel rushed and pissed. And the fact that both ellen and chris couldnt read my notes on when and when i cant work on friday and saturday pisses me off even more. Any other sunday would be fine, anytime, but not this one. I told them on both friday and sunday i cannot work past 2pm, as my dialysis treatment starts at 2 (they're somewhat flexible and its seriously only 5 minutes away from joanns amazingly) So when i spoke to chris about this she said "oh, so i just probably wont schedule you for that sunday then" I thought all right and was on my way. But then i saw the schedule. 1045 till 4. wtf? So i told ellen friday that i couldnt do that and told her why again, she told me to write a note. I did and i go back in yesterday afternoon to find no modified hours on the schedule, they hadnt even touched it. So i corner chris and she told me to come in ten to 3? (she asked me hopefully) I said no 10 to 2. But now im thinking, if i can get my but in gear that ill show up about 930 and work till 130 so im not late to treatment again.

I hate this weekend.
06:20am 28/11/2008
mood: awake
Black friday.

Im working today, from 7 till 145ish. then its off to dialysis at 215 so im bringing my pillows and blankets and dialysis jeans in the car with me so i dont have to run back home. i will be very tired. At least there's a potluck at work today.
02:15pm 21/11/2008
mood: dorky
So i have a very bad craving for velveeta cheese dip, with sausage and tortilla chips. i would kill for it. I also want to watch The Wizard of Oz.

*le sigh*
09:32am 16/11/2008
  I hope work goes by quickly today. I dont really feel like going, but i dont know who's going to be there for help so i dont want to call in sick. It will most likely be Carolyn and possibly karen. I still need to figure out my dialysis work schedule.
If chris is there today im going to ask her to schedule me for the butt crack of dawn when the store first opens on friday and i dont know whats going to happen on sunday. Cause i cant work my regular 10 to 2, cause that would put me on the very very last shift for dialysis which would me an inconvience for the dialysis clinic, cause id be the only patient.
03:41pm 04/11/2008
mood: tired
So i get home from dialysis and the caretakers are there, more specfically the older man. So im getting out of my car, hassling with my pillows and blanket and purse and journal and patient survey that Mildred dumped on me just as i was leaving the clinic. Seriously mildred? Youve had 2 and a half hours to talk to me about and you wait till im leaving?


the old man is coming out of the little pump house and he stops and asks me if im feeling better.
Now i get that question a lot, apparently i look sick all the time, even though i think i look good. maybe i should learn some better make-up tricks. So even though i tend to get offended by the question, i do my best not to show it, cause its usually someone like my boss asking.
I tell him yes, im feeling much better. he replies that they were upset to hear that i was sick. So i mutter something about sicknesses happening and begin to wonder when i was sick last, or when aaron had told them i was sick. not that it bothers me that aaron goes and tells people. its good to have the caretakers know should i ever have an issue and aaron is unreachable and they happen to be there. And im trying to remember when i was actually "sick" last. And then i remember, most everyone is not like me. And i wonder if he's refering to my overall kidney failure.. and then ive made my head hurt by over thinking the situation.

And it doesnt matter anyways cause the old man and I only exchanged an all of 6 words before he wandered into the yard across from our and i entered the house.
02:29pm 22/10/2008
mood: nervous
work was insane for no good reason, again, today. we always have sales at joanns, but the last two sales have made the store a mad house.

Got into the driveway of our property and saw a black dog at the edge of the front fence. He moved quickly out of the back and back behind the pump house and then back into the open field by the house behind ours. i saw the land lady's truck when i drove up so i figured it was hers. (she often brings her dogs with her when she's here) i was about to go into the yard of the front house when she came out and told me it wasnt hers. She doesnt particularly want to call animal control, cause the chances are greater he wont find his way back home. He's got a slight limp and he's very scared, he does have a collar but he wont come near us, or the land lady's dogs. She told me that he's been out there since 845ish this morning. I left at 920 and i didnt seem him She also said that she didnt think that animal control would come out to begin with without confirmation that we have the dog 'captured'. I dunno, ive never had to call animal control. :(
02:43pm 21/10/2008
mood: irritated
i thought it slept pretty okay last night but i have felt awful all day. Which is even worse cause its a dialysis day.

So treatment was crappy and i opted to get off the machine early. I put a zipper in my new pair of jeans and that took all morning, considering aaron and i slept in till 7ish. I was on the verge of calling mom to come get me from dialysis, i felt that funky.
i cant really describe it. I dont feel its a potassium issue, i am not short of breath nor do i have cramps in my legs. My neck hurts, so like i said when i started typing, i could have just slept on it wrong and now its all cramped up.

whatever. today = not so great.
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04:03pm 17/10/2008
mood: amused
hey baby, you sent me the link to the baby names.
I did like a couple of the female names listed there but then i started thinking. (uh oh >.>)
and my thoughts made some weird connection to the cartoon Metalpocalypse.
And suddenly all i could hear was Toki.

03:00am 16/10/2008
mood: sleepy
I was tossing a load of laundry before i left for work yesterday morning and I jammed my finger on the dryer. It bruised while at work, and now its slightly swollen and red around the knuckle, and stiff. :(
Aaron put some tiger balm on it before we went to bed.

it is not 3 am. I am awake because something is in the walls of the house. I think it is the mouse from the night i got sick. I cant take his little scrabbly noises that close to my head.
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10:38am 10/10/2008
mood: amused
This commercial makes me laugh every time i see it.

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